We’ve all heard about bad friends, haven’t we? But what about when we find ourselves being one?
Heading out with friends before the new year to bid adieu to everything behind us. End-of-year reflections, we’ve all been there and done that. Yes, we managed to survive, and here’s to cheers for the year ahead, be full of good things waiting to happen. Emotions are high, everyone is in high spirits, Christmas songs filling the air, cocktails dominating the table, and then one of your friends spills something about the friend who’s absent from the gathering. Spoiler alert! That friend turns out to be you, and something private was shared without their consent. The conversation flows smoothly afterwards like nothing happened, and the night progresses beautifully. All seemed well until the moment you left.
On the way home, anxiety sets in, and a wave of disappointment crashes over you. Why did I say that? What happened? I wasn’t so drunk that I lost control and forgot what I was saying, because clearly, how else would I remember that specific information not meant for sharing?
The information wasn’t harmful; it was my reaction to news I received a few weeks ago. My friend’s situation angered me, and being protective, I spoke badly of her partner in front of everyone. Reflecting on it, I regretted saying anything about it as soon as it left my lips. But hey ho, time doesn’t rewind. I spent the entire night tossing and turning, a dreadful night. First thing in the morning, I reached out to my friend to confess. Luckily, I have understanding and forgiving friends.
The day passed with me apologizing, and thankfully, my apology was accepted. I’m grateful. Yet, as someone who overthinks like a duck, I can’t help but wonder why I felt compelled to say what I did. I can’t come up with a good enough reason because, deep down, I still believe I shouldn’t have said it. I struggle to express how sorry I am about the situation, even when it’s already gone.
What have I learned from this?
1. To refrain from judging people when they make mistakes, because we all make them, including myself.
2. To not be so hard on myself.
3. Apologizing for your blunders is better than not apologizing at all. And it’s up to the person to forgive, if and when they’re ready.
I’ve been hurt by friends before, numerous times, so I know how it feels. Well now I also know how it feels to be on the other side, and it didn’t feel good realizing I could hurt a friend too, not in this case luckily, but speaking in general. I suppose the Universe held up a mirror, showing me that I can be unkind too. Nonetheless, I’m learning. Every day. As this year draws to a close, I’m off to apologize to my mum, whom I recently judged for sharing something she shouldn’t have. Like mother, like daughter, I hear you. But before you judge me or anyone else, look at your own mirror. We live, and we learn.
Anyway, Happy New Year.
Love, J
Ps. Babe, I am sorry, one more time. I love you.
Ps.2.
I feel grateful to be part of my friend's lives. Every minute and day is priceless. Thank you for your understanding, support, and love. You girlies make my life easier than it is. Here is to friendship.