I started this newsletter with three different topics and changed my mind every time. I had an idea how I wanted it to be and just couldn't make it right this time around. It's not that I haven’t written anything this month, in fact, I wrote three different versions of this newsletter. About three very important topics that March was carrying and topics close to my heart, but as with many things in my life I tend to start something and then I am not happy with it. So, I'm sort of leaving it unfinished. I don’t know why it is like this. It just is.
I started this newsletter with I am sorry for being late because it should have been in your inbox last week but then changed my mind again. Why? Even if my plan for March didn’t work out, it’s fine, I got through it, I mean its April already and we are here. And if you got through it too, well done to you.
In all honesty….
It's hard. Life is hard. I always said, life is hard and I don’t need anyone to make it harder for me. Don’t ask me where I picked this up because I don’t remember. But it is something I believe 100%. I am at this stage of life at the moment where I am surrounded by every one of you who make my life a better place. Believe it or not, you really are. Despite the reality of war which is happening 3 hours and 35 minutes from the UK, despite the inflation, despite the unknown of what this year is bringing, I can say, I am so thankful for one each of you who decided to be part of this little newsletter. I am so thankful for everyone who is in my life on day to day basis, who is communicating with me via endless whatsup messages, who is picking up every face time call regardless of how you are dressed or how your hair looks like. These are little moments of mine that make my life, my day to day life, easier. Thank you for being a part of this. So, no apologies from me for not sending MJ on time and no apologies about not writing what I initially planned. Thank you for the love you are giving me and your support, as I follow how I feel.
March was very difficult for me, I don’t know if it's because it was exactly 3 months after a very traumatic car accident, but it was lots of thinking. I mean there is always lots of thinking here in general, but it was a different kind of thinking. While I am trying to find myself again, to reconnect with who I am and in what I believe in, to find my place under the Sun, to see where I fit so I can sit :) ... the world keeps spinning. Healing, searching, it’s a long process and I don’t have any answers to anything at the moment or I might not ever have them, but what I wanted to acknowledge this time is, it’s okay not to be okay. I know you heard about this already but when did you say it to yourself and give yourself permission to not feel okay? How does that sound? It's okay to not be okay, as Demi Lovato says in her song Ok not to be Ok. I know life is always up and down and sometimes is just the middle too. I am here and just taking it. Feel it. Day by day. I am feeling all the feelings, whatever they are at that moment in that day. But when the night comes and I lay down to rest there is one little thing that makes me happy, my little project called “5 things I am thankful for today…”.
5 things I am thankful for today…
I started this project after the accident to be more focused on the little things around me. Little things like, little moments of mine on day to day basis that are making me happy, keep me going. So, I go through the day thinking, am I thankful for that? I am thankful for this? It's a fun little game I play with myself and at the end of the day, I share it on my Instagram stories. You can check it out here. @minasplanet_
There is a blank template here which you can save to your phone and fill out for yourself if you wish to. I will be happy to see what you are thankful for on that specific day or in general. Feel free to email me back so I can read it. I have also attached my yesterday one for the 2nd of April as inspiration.
What next…
Whatever you want to be honest. Every day I am learning and so do you. Today, I am not the same person as yesterday, and if I am lucky, tomorrow I will be someone else again. I am growing, and we all know that growth is painful. I think life is about little moments that we stole from the day, so keep searching for them, keep stealing them for yourself. So, if you allow me, let me grab a coffee with my close ones and try to make the most out of the day. Because, end of the day, we only have now, this moment only. Make a most of it, I definitely will.
Have a lovely sunny Sunday, and eat some chocolate, please.
Love,
Jasmina x